Earlier this week, I came back. Wednesday I shared a little insight as to where I’ve been. But today I’m sharing where I’m headed and what my plans are for Petite Noir.
Before having a baby, I did what I wanted when I wanted. I could spend all day shopping or cleaning or running errands. Elias was born and he was a super chill, easygoing baby – we had it easy, or so I’m told. I was able to keep up with my day to day activities very well…and then he started crawling. Funny how things change seemingly overnight, but we adjusted and everything was fine. THEN…he started walking and very quickly started to take a hard left turn towards following right in his daddy’s mischievous little footsteps. Footsteps that present me with a challenge every day.
Throughout my pregnancy and up until this past November, my husband and I were very fortunate that he was able to work from home. He was there for all my appointments, there to help care for Elias and there to step in when I needed a minute. In sort of a double edged sword, my husband finally got the job we’d been waiting on and now he’s gone 12 hours a day, five days a week – plus he works out as soon as he gets home. And that’s without hitting traffic; there have definitely been a couple days that Elias wakes up, spends all day with me and he’s in bed before my husband gets home.
If you are a stay at home mom/dad/grandma, I don’t have to tell you that it’s mentally and physically exhausting. It is EASILY and IRREVOCABLY the best job I have ever been blessed to have, but, make no mistake, being a stay at home parent is HARD work. Especially when you are also married to a commuter. (Let me add in here that his commute is 1 hour and 45 minutes one way. You know, for reference.)
Things have changed for me. I’m not bitter about it or wishing it was different, it’s just simply the way it is. That being said, some things are going to change around here, too.
First and foremost, I’m 110% FED UP with the high anxiety, stress inducing social media glorification of faux perfection. I’m not perfect and neither are you or anybody else. And guess what? That’s not just okay, it’s f***ing fantastic! As Dr. Suess wrote “there is no one alive that is Youer than You”. Be YOU, own YOU, love YOU. ❤
That being said, I have struggled with this for a LONG time. In middle and high school, I was one of those “goth” kids. Quotations because ignorant people just HAVE to label you when you’re different – I guess it helps them feel like they’re justified to treat you poorly. I kept to myself, I was quiet, I didn’t party or do drugs, I was a good student and spent a lot of time just being in my own head. Yeah, my clothes were my choice, my art was my choice, what I liked and didn’t like was my choice, but I never asked for anybody’s opinion about it; I didn’t ask to be bullied either.
Those experiences change you and make you feel like you need to adjust yourself to fit in, even if it’s just so the taunting stops. But it doesn’t make the anxiety go away, it doesn’t make you happy, I’ve come to realize that it only makes it worse. When you stop being yourself and try to please everyone else, you’re only making yourself suffer twofold. Once for yourself and twice when they’re unimpressed.
So to Hell with it (and them).
As a wise man once said, “you’re going to suffer, but you’re going to be happy about it.” (Another 10 points to Gryffindor if you know the wise man. 😉 )
To wrap up my rambling, here are some changes you can expect:
More life + household posts: I’m a mama with a busy toddler and a lot going on. (Read, “I woke up like this and we’re having Cadbury eggs and nerds for dinner because I forgot to pick up a key ingredient for this recipe. Hey, I’m going to design a new grocery list printable for us!)
Less structure: I was getting so wrapped up in doing certain posts at certain times and no more than one type of post a week. Who cares? Only me. Winging it is my theme these days.
More realness: My kid is having a real mental breakdown over me changing my nephews’ poopy diaper and demanding his daddy to change his diaper too? Congratulations, you get front row seats to my dysfunctional funnies.
Same old, same old: I’ll still post outfits and bloopers, but expect to see an increase and maybe a slight change in the way I do recipe round ups and travel posts.
Moving forward, I’d like to see Petite Noir grow into a blog that is truly me. Fun and raw and quirky with a good dose of reality. And a shit ton of sprinkles. 😉